A special Gift on Christmas Eve...

I was up early on this Christmas Eve, and drove through the fog out to my sister's home in West Melbourne.
She and her husband had to be out - and I was to spend the time with my Mother. We chatted as she ate her breakfast, and I explained to her how this journey to Bethlehem was a bit difficult for me this year. She went in to get dressed for the day, and came out and I received this special gift..quality time with my mother, who had just lost her husband of over 68 years. She talked about this knot inside her chest, and she couldn't make it go away. She talked and I listened...and she told me about some feelings she had as a little girl, and talked of how other people thought she should be 'more sad by your Dad's death..." I explained to her that these feelings were normal and okay, that I didn't feel sadness with the fact that Dad had died, but selfishly I missed him dearly, and my sense of loss was only meager compared to hers!

We talked of the meaning of 'selfishness' that she felt badly when she felt such, and I explained from my own heart, that sometimes we HAD to be selfish about our emotions and feelings. Such feelings are new to her - and I listened to this woman who had given me birth 64 plus years ago, and felt as though God brought us, Madonna and child on this Christmas Eve to have this conversation... It was one of those conversations that happen rarely, if at all... I explained to her that what others felt about what was an 'appropriate' sadness was important, but that her emotions, as mine, overwhelm us particularly this Christmas season...

As I got up to leave after five hours, I told her that I love her, and I thanked her for this special gift which we shared with one another - it's not a gift that can be wrapped up, and placed under the tree...it is a gift which she and dad have shared so often with so many in their life together...and which I shall treasure for as long as I live... it's like the gift that the girls, Matt, Kyra and Lucas gave me - front row center seat for an Amy Grant/Vince Gill Christmas concert...two or three years ago this was their gift to me, and I think about that evening so often, and on this Christmas Eve as I gaze out my window when a gift touched my life with a bit of Heaven that I shall cherish always, as I will the gift today...