Listening as a "gift of love"\

When I awoke this morning I felt 'rested" so decided that I would try and drive over to Celebration to visit my 90+year old mother.  I usually have someone drive me over, as I feel nervous driving that far.  I did the 60 miles in 2 hours(can you imagine the line of cars behind me wishing I didn't drive the speed limit) NOT to VISIT with mother, as those days are gone.  

I thought as I gave her a hug and kiss. of all the times when she and dad would VISIT with those who came by...as Phyllis and I would drive down from the north on this weekend each year.  Mother has lived a joy-filled life, along with my dad, made the world a nicer place because of their compassion and warmth.

I "listened" as she talked weakly about how worried she was about ME, and then listened to the sound of her breathing as she slept in her wheelchair,  We don't like quiet - we feel we have to say something, anything..

but listening to what a person SAYS, as well as to the SILENCE is a gift of love we share.

She would awaken, see my face smiling at her, and she squeezed my hand and fell asleep again...

She got confused and upset about a couple of little things...but I just held her hand.  What I 'heard' during the 90 minute visit was that she is weary, and she doesn't have the "fight" that dad had to go on...

she knows her life has been filled with love and family, and faith, but she is tired..and that is okay.

Lots of people would avoid such moments selfishly wishing that it was 'like it was."  but as I listened to her words as I hugged and kissed her when leaving.."don't worry about whatever happens to me, Peter"

and as she closed her eyes to sleep, I knelt by her recliner, and held the hand of this woman, my mother, who gave me the gift of life, and as I got up to go, I whispered that I would come back soon...to sit by her side...my father was my best friend...and I miss him terribly, and my mother has been the rock of faith and I am more than honored to spend moments of gratitude and silence in this way...