When you come to the end of a perfect day...

"And in despair, I bowed my head...There is no peace on earth I said...
For hate is strong, and mocks the song...Of peace on earth, good will to all"
I am sitting by the window of my 12th floor apartment looking at the lights of the city. and weeping.
I am thinking of the warm evening 39 years ago..and of my Father preaching my Ordination Sermon...
"THE DAY NEVER ENDS..." for all these years I have ministered and believed in the Hope of those words..."

Now I am hearing the stirrings of a different Hymn "Now the day is over..." Everybody who participated in the Ordination is gone to their Eternal Reward... and I am not physically well. While everyone is trying to "FIX" ME, according to their own agenda, I am remembering my mother, who never tired of LISTENING to me, and never telling me what to do - she would say to me, "I just want you to remember that I love you" She who had been disappointed by me so many times rather than trying to fix me, she loved me. Even when I was talking to her on the phone on what was a difficult day for me. I told her that I felt like jumping out the window. She said to me "Oh I know you'll do a good job of it Peter." She even said to me, as I sat beside her bed to say goodbye and thank you to her. AS i finished praying with her she said "I'm not going to say good-bye to you Peter, but I WILL SEE YOU ALONG THE ROAD."

The difference between my father and I, was not that either of us was afraid of dying, for we are not...but he was having such a good time living he didn't want to die and I am not. Since by stroke, every moment of every day is fraught with pain...and I am not complaining or feeling sorry for myself...rather I am stating a fact...The person who fought for and advocated for people, now nears the end of the day...and I have nothing left within me to stand up for myself and fight.

Hearing of an auto accident which claimed a young woman's life...I've been thinking of getting a call one night in Bainbridge...
a young 17 year old had just been killed by a drunk driver. The family asked for me...I arrived to their house, and heard dishes crashing within. I walked in and sat with the father while his wife through dishes across the kitchen. This went on for 45 minutes, and she came into the Living Room walked up to me, and sobbed 'I'm sorry" and all I could do was cry with her. for I would have reacted the same way... Or the call late on christmas Eve telling me that a young couple in my Gay Head church had just lost their baby...and the day never ended...Or 18 month old Kimberly who died suddenly and their Pastor wouldn't go to them because he didn't know what to say...I went to them, listened to their anguish and their tears, and cried with them...
I have stood with countless people when their lives, and hopes died. I remember walking behind a grief stricken couple, all night long, after their child had died...I walked all through the night about 100 yards behind them so they would know that God was near to them, as He reached out to me...and the day never ended...

I'm sitting here gazing from my apt. window, feeling as though there is so much hatred in this world...a man filled with hatred goes in and kills someone in the Jewish MUSEUM...and a Dr. gun down in Church while speaking in the name of God that OTHERS LIKE HIM WILL BE KILLED...and I sit and weep beside my apartment windows. I am thankful that mother and dad aren't here, for they too would be filled with tears...of all the gifts given to me by my mother and dad, was the gift of listening to what was being said, and not said and to love people like my mother did...

A sunset is a PAUSE BEFORE THE DAWN OF A NEW AND GLORIOUS DAY...as the day draws to its close....