trusting one's heart

Who 'listens' to you? All my life and ministry I listened to what people were saying and to what they were not saying. I have gone to battle hundreds of time, for people who were members of my Churches but for people in general, demanding in a positive sense that what the person was feeling was listened to...People would say "why are you doing this? and what do you expect to be the results?" But the people looked to me, because they felt that I cared for THEM, in the name of Jesus...

Last night after the stroke of two years ago, and telling dr. after dr. that there was something wrong and I told them of the fatigue, the itching, the chest pains, the itching, and they did NOT listen to what I felt and I felt as though I was overwhelmed by people who didn't care about ME...and they thought what I was trying to say wasn't true, Last night I went on a Google search for the symptoms of lymphona...after going on my own to the cancer center here in Melbourne...HE spent over an hour with me last Friday, the Director listened to ME. and I asked him what he 'thought" and he mentioned lymphoma...and he said he would walk BESIDE me through it all, and give me the medical info
and then would let ME decide...

I have a biopsy scheduled for MONDAY MORNING>>>in my google searching of the symptoms of malignant lymphoma I found about seven symptoms that I have mentioned to all these Drs. and until last Friday was listened to.. and I'm pretty sure that the biopsy will indicate that I am right in determining that I have hodgkin disease..

and it was while sitting on the Boardwalk early this morning gazing across the wide open sea...
that I deserve the same kind of concern that I shared with these hundreds of people...and I will FIGHT for Peter's right to be listened to and heard...and while i was writing this entry , i had a call from the Hospital where the biopsy is to be done, and they said I WOULD NOT be put out completely...and I told the woman, that I had been promised this...and would not have the procedure without it...and I will stand up for myself, and I miss my father, my best friend, who would listen to me and my heart...and would understand...